You are more than just a number

Warning....this one is personal....Growing up as a child I was always the heavy one and so the trend continued in my teens. It was down to genes, hormones and the like, but I also comfort ate, usually out of boredom. The closer to twenty I got the lighter I became, I was independent and working in the big smoke, making new friends and having new experiences.  I was so happy I went out and brought myself my first set of scales....Fast forward nearly 20 years (gulp) I am still a serial daily weigher....but that is about to change. 

I'm getting rid of them, not throwing away you may note. I'm edgy just thinking about the move.  How will I know if I gain weight? How will I know my number?  For the first time in a long time I'm over it. I'm over the number messing with my happiness at the beginning of the day.  I'm over thinking I will be happy when I get to xyz number.  Why am I giving my power away to a number? To a scale? Seems stupid when you think of it. And I'm doing it for my daughter. I always make sure she isn't around nor do I talk about anything to do with weight, being fat, being on a diet in front of her, but they are sponges and soon she will be onto me and I really don't want her to have this same pointless bad, habit

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I'm suffering from an illness called Migraine Associated Vertigo or Vestibular Migraines. It causes dizziness like you are on a boat, extreme exhaustion, and chronic neck and shoulder pain but unlike a typical migraine no headaces. Unless of course my body throws one of those in for good measure. Thanks to some drugs I'm improving but its a day by day monkey on my back, but out of it has come many positives. This blog being one, giving me something else to focus on with all my time laying horizontal, another counting my blessings as there is always someone worse off.  It has made me really re-evaluate the important things in life and me doing my head in everyday over some scales is over.  I've weighed, apart from gaining 20kgs when I was pregnant, around about the same for over 20 years.  I don't think weighing myself has anything to do with this now that I looking back.  

It has to do with my lifestyle and how much I love to cook from scratch, eat healthily, walking most days for exercise of the mind and body.  I'm not going to suddenly turn my car into the kfc drive through or have a secret chocolate binge, just because I don't weigh myself,it isn't me.  Nor am I going to ever have thin legs like my cousin. Damn it!!

So the only scales I will be using from now on, are the ones to cook with!

Ciao, Jan